Spent the last 3-4 hours altering my my grad dress. There was no 12, and the 10 was waaay too tight, so I bought the 14.

After putting it on and taking it off a good 5 times, and re-sewing base seams just as often, it finally fits my body amazingly!
It’s times like these I’m super happy I took fashion classes, and was given my Mum’s sewing machine.

Sewing seems to be a great way to distract myself from horrible cramp pains… that and sweaty, vigorous workouts.

P.S. Will post pictures from my grad tomorrow, so anyone who wants to see what my dress looks like can.

(Source: seabois, via -damaged)

(via killerpussy)

Sometimes I really hate the vivid/realistic aspects of my dreams, and that I can remember most of them just as vividly when I wake up.

I’ve had so many “romantic/ couple”-themed dreams in the past two years, and their tearing me apart. I hate how my subconscious knows exactly what to make the person I’m “dating” say and do, in the perfect setting, and atmosphere to create these feelings I’ve never actually felt, in a situation I’ve never experienced. And when I wake up, the only thing I can do is try to get back to sleep again, or cry for something that I miss, that’s not really there.

Last night’s may have been one of the worst endings. The person, what we said, what we did, it was all perfect. In the dream, I felt …. understood, respected, desired…. loved. And then for the last moments, the “finale”, it wasn’t me anymore. It was a girl I used to work with. She’s quirky, gorgeous, down-to-earth, and other things that I just don’t consider myself embodying. And my subconscious used that against me, when I was in such a high state of bliss, and basically said, “You don’t deserve this, someone like her does”.

And then I wake up, and break down.

I’m sooo disappointed in my progress photos from last week to this…
I think I’ve slimmed down more on the sides, but the toning has gotten rid of what little curve I had in my waist to begin with. And maybe I’m bloated or something but my front mid-section looks like it did at the end of May, so worse than the last two weeks.

Ugh!

Day 14/15 of the squat/ab challenge and picture day…

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Watched Schindler’s List before bed….

Therefore, Tumblr = perfect distraction for hopefully murderless dreaming.
And if not that, then I’ll try reading some more of my current guilty pleasure.

Day off work tomorrow!

Going to have a sleep in, mad fun, cardio-filled, best friend catch-up, enjoy the sunshine, kind of day.
Pretty stoked.

I would love to hold her and watch out favourite shows and movies. On a Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, and every other night of the week.Take walks and let time pass by uncounted for. Relax in the sun with books in hand that make us laugh and cry and think.

Enjoy the summer for what is has to offer.

Catching up on 1G5G while eating homemade guacamole and drinking a smoothie.

How you wind down from a crazy 8am-3pm shift of retail work.

Can’t wait for drinks and dessert with my girls later!

Chinese dinner with the fam tonight. Can’t wait! I’ve been so good to myself all week (mind and body) and I’m so proud. I really think I can do this.

No “treating”, still going to watch it, but I’ll be nice to have some food with just a bit more substance!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?
I’m kind of in the middle; I would consider myself an ambivert (between introvert and extrovert).

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
Physically, I’m super relaxed about a lot, haha. But for a few:
Around my height (5’10”), a little taller or shorter is fine. Someone that presents themselves similar to the way I do (I’m pretty feminine), but I’ve been attracted to “masculine” girls as well. Tattoos and piercings are hot. I have/want both, so we’d have something in common. I’m a fan of curves, or just a softer shape.
Personality wise, everything I’ve said before :) Summed up, caring, humourous, fun, open-minded.
Other stuff:
Likes staying in and going out. I LOVE dancing too much to stay in all the time, and I’d rather dance or just enjoy the atmosphere, than do it without her.
I’m more gym-active, than sports-active, so if she goes to classes with me that would be bomb!

I really can’t think of anything else right now! I’m really not picky at all, so this was actually really hard, but thank you for asking :)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
All kinds of people! If you’re funny, kind, intriguing, thoughtful, and open-minded I’ll be attracted to your personality (which is THE most important thing to me!) Physically attracted to? Race, don’t matter. Male, female, and anywhere between or past those “labels”, I find the more I learn and see and interact, that doesn’t matter. So generally just a rad person, with a mix of personality traits and physical traits that tickle my fancy :)

21. What are you bad habits?
Over think, over analyze, talk too much sometimes, to realistic at times, which clouds my optimism, and I can be a little sassy with a sharp tongue… I curse quite a bit too.

148. What’s your favourite quote?
The oldest one I can remember that I like is: “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” - Confucius

I’ve found quite a few from here that I absolutely love, so I’ll put some of those as well:
“If you truly loved yourself you would never harm another.” - Buddha
”There is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers
“There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.” - Angel Flonis Harefa

Thank you for asking love!

Something about being at home… It makes me feel extra lonely. And I seem to wish for a companion to relax with, talk to, experience life with a lot more.
Not a bad thing, but I know that it’s something I have no reason to dwell on.

So… I’m going to take this as an enlightening moment, and use the time I have alone to better myself, consciously.